FAGGOT!
I was called a faggot last night.
Standing on a corner downtown with a friend, we debating whether or not to go grab a bite to eat after closing time. Suddenly I heard it. “FAGGOT!” Did I just hear that? Oh yes, It came again. “FAGGOT!” I turned and found the offending voice. Smiled. “Nice,” I said and looked back at my friend. The words continued to come. “Who fucks who?” “Who’s the girl?” It continued for a couple minutes. And I kept smiling.
I couldn’t not smile- I felt more proud than ever.
While this homophobe was busy trying to knock me down. I was building myself up. I’m gay and I like it that way. My friends, family, and associates all embrace me. I have the love I need. There is no reason for me to change myself.
I am very familiar with gays and our ways. But not everyone is. I’m sure if the hater had known someone who’s gay, or his friend were able to tell him, he mind have greater acceptance. Certainly no guarantees, but a better chance.
See, as this hater was yelling “FAGGOT” at me, I felt the love of everyone in my life. They were behind me, supporting me, loving me. I have what I need and want.
So much of it comes from the strength of our community. Then it hit me. I am doing the right thing. Our individual strength is connected to the strength of our community.
If you’ve ever experienced this kind of hate, remember that it is our collective strength that keeps us moving forward. I can’t control the actions of others, but I can control my reaction. OUTLinc gives me the strength to turn it positive. Let’s everyone do the same.
Comment
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Comment by James Baldus on February 11, 2010 at 8:37pm - Robb, I agree totally. One day soon, this type of incident will never happen. But until then, we must strive for positivity and rise above the hate.
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Comment by Robb Crouch on February 11, 2010 at 11:49am - Thanks for sharing this story! I almost have pity for the offender, because his life must be very shallow and meaningless to feel the need to degrade another. I also feel the same as you--these hurtful words are loosing their affect on our community and we have risen above it.
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Comment by Heath Harding on February 9, 2010 at 10:22pm - It makes me so mad that these things continue to happen in Lincoln. It is 2010! Setting priorities for OUTLinc on Sat. is a chance to change our city and the people in it.
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Comment by James Baldus on February 8, 2010 at 9:30pm
- Thanks for the support, Steve. It's all about community support- I have strength because of the community.
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Comment by Stephen Griffith on February 8, 2010 at 5:57pm - What a powerful and painful witness! Thank you for your courage in posting your story. May it help build the community. Rev. Steve
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Comment by Tyler Richard on February 8, 2010 at 2:36pm - Thanks for letting me know I've fullfilled my mission in life. I'll try to check in on you now and again from my vacation home. :P
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Comment by James Baldus on February 7, 2010 at 11:13pm
- Thank you for the kind words, Tyler. I wouldn't have the strength I do without you.
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Comment by Tyler Richard on February 7, 2010 at 8:55pm
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In the few years that I've been fortunate enough to know you, I've always respected your constant integrity. Its really an honor to know you.
I'm glad you've been able to find the strength to "turn it postivie" and even more glad that you so willingly share that strength with others.
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